she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
it was like eating out sand paper
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
