If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
