I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
