Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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