Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
