I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
