when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.