i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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