Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
