Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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