Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
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