You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
