Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
