So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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