So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
