how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
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