i used baking grease as lip gloss
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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