and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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