if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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