weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
