oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
