ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Randomize
