i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
