We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
