I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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