FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
