I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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