this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
