How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
