Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I know her cup size but not her name....
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
