All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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