so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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