Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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