Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Buhtt sex?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
