well you can't waste a boner
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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