He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
