Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
