She is in my trunk
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Your cock deserves a montage
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
