i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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