take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
