:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Green mimosas i think yes
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
