My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
