I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You made out with two different species that night
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
