i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
