This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize