I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
