she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
