It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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