wrigley field is MILF paradise
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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