i just wanna soil my oats bro
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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