We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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