He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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