People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize