the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
