Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
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