Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
