Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
