We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
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i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
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By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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