he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
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Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
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Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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