i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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