He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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