how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
