Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
