he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
