Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
