You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
