the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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