I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
