i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Randomize
