she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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