she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
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I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
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Just put me in your contacts as coyote
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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