my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
