just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
