There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
not ubering you a puppy
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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